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Indiana, United States
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bring Joy to Your Man

One of the five speakers that blessed me at this past weekend's IAHE Mom's Retreat was Tess Worrell of Your Family Matters. Speaking on the topic of Bringing Joy to Our Husbands, she neatly articulated something that I've been wanting to mention here for months.

One of the ways that we can bring our husbands joy (and greatly improve our marriages in the process), is though affirming him. As Ephesians 5:33 states, the wife is to respect the husband. This counts more to them than love! I mentioned this to my husband, and his answer was "Of course!"

As Tess stated so concisely, we do this by "showing our husbands our preference and our deference." Our husbands need to see by our words and our behaviors that we prefer them over all others: girlfriends, our parents, our children, and especially our time in front of the computer (you can leave now if you have to)!

We also need to show them deference in believing that they are competent and trustworthy. When does the world ever show us a strong competent husband on a TV sitcom? It's usually the husband messing up and super-wife comes in and picks up the pieces. Even if we're afraid they're not going to do something "right" especially when it comes to the children, we need to back them up. Some of the things I cringed about the most, became treasured memories. (Like when Bryan took 7 children, by himself, hiking in the snow).

You can control 50% of the attitudes in the marriage, but that may make 100% of a difference.


  1. This was a GREAT post, and so true!!! I know that my husband gets jealous of the time I spend on the computer. I think it's OK for me to do something else, because he is watching a football game on TV or something, but what he really wants is for me to sit down beside him! That shows my Love for him. I also love that concept of showing preference and deference!

    I totally agree with the TV thing! You never see a husband on TV or the movies in a positive light. Either they are overbearing, harsh and abusive, or weak, bumbling, and inept. Do you notice that even in the older TV shows, such as Leave it to Beaver, that attitude had begun sneaking in? I can't remember which episode I last watched, but I remember thinking that the Dad handled the situation all wrong and the Mom had to save the day. I think those seeds were being planted in that era, and we now have a bumper crop!!!!!!

    Thanks for this encouraging post! You are so much on target! A Bullseye, in fact! :)


  2. So true. We've discovered this over the past 4 years, that turning from trusting my Dad (the first man in my life), to trusting Justin gave him the biggest self esteem boost ever. Like you said, it's not always easy, but I've learned through trusting him, that my husband is a pretty smart man sometimes. Now, we will often say that I am the words of reason sometimes, making him slow down and think a bit, but that's how we compliment each other. We are always learning.

  3. It's so great that you and Justin have learned to apply God's truths early in your marriage. It will only be that much stronger!