One of the five speakers that blessed me at this past weekend's IAHE Mom's Retreat was Tess Worrell of Your Family Matters. Speaking on the topic of Bringing Joy to Our Husbands, she neatly articulated something that I've been wanting to mention here for months.
One of the ways that we can bring our husbands joy (and greatly improve our marriages in the process), is though affirming him. As Ephesians 5:33 states, the wife is to respect the husband. This counts more to them than love! I mentioned this to my husband, and his answer was "Of course!"
As Tess stated so concisely, we do this by "showing our husbands our preference and our deference." Our husbands need to see by our words and our behaviors that we prefer them over all others: girlfriends, our parents, our children, and especially our time in front of the computer (you can leave now if you have to)!
We also need to show them deference in believing that they are competent and trustworthy. When does the world ever show us a strong competent husband on a TV sitcom? It's usually the husband messing up and super-wife comes in and picks up the pieces. Even if we're afraid they're not going to do something "right" especially when it comes to the children, we need to back them up. Some of the things I cringed about the most, became treasured memories. (Like when Bryan took 7 children, by himself, hiking in the snow).
You can control 50% of the attitudes in the marriage, but that may make 100% of a difference.