. It's an eye-opening read, that has made us try to be more purposeful in showing love to our children.At least one of my older children's primary love language is "Words of Affirmation." Not always something I excel in. I can point out problems in a flash, but am rarely as quick to say positive things. My favorite humbling moment is when I'm barking at them for snapping at a sibling. No mixed message there!
I was most convicted when Dr. Chapman described how a child that feels love from positive words, feels the twice the pain from critical words. Ouch!
I am hereby resolving this week to speak to all my children with a soft voice, gentle words, and notice much more good than bad. Everyone, from the tall to the small, will receive "pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
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Amen! Ya know that is one of our family verses on our wall. :)
ReplyDeleteYou said it very well and described me, too. I will act on the same challenge you ar taking this week.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently reading "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk, and the emphasis of the book is love. Through all the commandments, Jesus put emphasis on love. He sums them up with Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. For me, that includes my children. I know I don't like nor appreciate being yelled at, but I sure do plenty of it myself. Silk explains how to be more calm and why it's important (how it impacts the kids and what they get out of it.) He also goes into why a parent yells - the emotions going on around the situation and how it's not necessary or productive to react in such a way. I'm praying that it really helps me change as a parent.
I'm terrible at affirmation after they aren't "little" anymore. I can be so much more patient when they are small. It really stinks when I hear #1 talking to #2 the way I talk to her!
ReplyDeleteThat is my love language as well . . . so it comes a bit easier to me, I think, to give words of affirmation to others.
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